I'll be honest. Mom's stinginess was starting to get in the way of my needs. For example, I need to sleep with Herbie on my face.
So the other day I was all, "Mom, it's time to pull the coins out from under your mattress and buy a video monitor," and mom was all, "Okay Stu, you're right, I'm sorry I've waited so long to let you be truly happy."
Life is so much better now. Mom has her monitor and can obsessively watch me sleep and I'm allowed to have Herbie on my face. As long as I continue to breathe in a visually obvious manner.